Who pays for the wake?

Usually the family, sometimes from the estate. Some families ask close friends to bring food, or put money behind the bar for a first drink.

How long does a wake last?

Typically two to three hours after the service, though it’s up to the family.

Do you need to invite people to a wake?

Usually the funeral announcement says everyone is welcome. If you want it to be private, say so in the announcement.

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How to organise a wake

Sammy at hitherHosts and guests · 6 min read · Updated 2 November 2026

The wake is often where a funeral turns from goodbye into remembering: the stories, the tea, the moment someone laughs for the first time that week. Organising it can feel like one job too many, but it doesn’t need to be elaborate. It needs a warm room, enough food and somewhere to sit.

Choosing a venue

Most wakes happen close to the service so people don’t have to drive far: a pub function room, a village or church hall, a hotel, a golf or cricket club, or someone’s home. A place that meant something to the person is a lovely choice, if it’s practical.

Ask about access for older guests, parking, and whether you can bring your own food or must use their catering.

Working out numbers

This is the hardest part, because funerals are open and you rarely know who will come. A rough guide: expect most of the people at the service to come on for at least a short while.

Letting people reply makes it much easier. On a Hither memorial page anyone can say they’re coming and how many of them, without needing an invitation, and you see the total in one place.

Food and drink

A finger buffet is the norm: sandwiches, sausage rolls, quiche, cake. Easy to eat standing up
Tea and coffee matter more than people expect
A drink at the bar, or a toast, if the family wants one
Ask about dietary needs if you can; at least label what’s vegetarian

Timings

Book the venue from straight after the service for two to three hours. Most people stay an hour or so; close family and friends often stay longer. Tell the venue when you expect the main arrival, so tea is ready when people walk in.

Small touches that help

Photos of the person on a table, or a slideshow
Their favourite music quietly in the background
A book or cards for people to write a memory, or a tribute wall online for those who couldn’t come
A collection box for the charity the family chose

Costs

Wakes range from a few hundred pounds for tea and sandwiches in a hall to much more for a hotel with a full buffet. Pubs often offer a set price per head. Ask friends and family to help with food if budget is tight; people usually want to.